Getting Started: Role Playing Games

So you want to start playing rpgs. Fantastic, it's a great hobby. But how, you ask, does one start? Well, Billy, to get started you don't need to drop a wad of cash on books or dice. In fact, don't spend any money on any books yet. The best way to get started is to find a group of people who are already playing. They'll have the books, dice, miniatures, laminated battle-maps, and mortgages on their homes that you need to play. They'll also be able to teach you much more quickly than a book would.
One way to join a group is to already know someone who plays. Ask them if you can join their game. If they're not running things, they may have to clear it with the GM, but most gamers are happy to introduce new people to the hobby. After all, the more people that do this, the fewer weird looks we get in the grocery line. And don't sweat it if he says no. Its (probably) not you, he just has too many people in his game right now, or isn't at a place where he can bring in another player. Ask him to let you know the next time he's starting a game, and if he knows about any other games in the are that might take a new person.
You might be saying to yourself "Eric, you great thundering idiot, if I knew someone who played, I'd already have asked them that, you twit." First of all, there's no need to be insulting. Secondly, I'm getting to that. If you don't know anyone who plays, then you have a few options. If you're a college student, or live in a college town, there are often clubs that meet regularly to play. My college has three. Check around campus, or use the internet. You'd be surprised how happy they'll be to see a new face.
If you don't have access to a gaming club, your next option is probably to go to a gaming shop. These are small, usually independent stores that sell the above mentioned sundry books, dice, miniatures, and laminated battle-maps that are the trappings of this hobby. Many now allow you to apply for mortgages without even leaving the store. Talk to whoever's behind the counter. Most of the people who work in these shops are gamers, and they have at least a passing knowledge of their regular clientèle. Tell him you're looking to take up the hobby, and ask if anyone's running a game at the shop. A note of warning: I shouldn't have to say this, but don't go to a random person's house/apartment/abandoned meatpacking plant to play a game if you don't know the the group. That's good advice for everybody, but especially to you ladies out there. The hobby tends to attract somewhat socially inept people. Most of them are harmless, but much like the general population it's that tiny not so harmless fraction that you have to worry about.
What if you don't have a local gaming shop, or you've been banned from said shop for incident involving the owner's prized miniature collection and a gerbil? Well, then you've got a few options. You can try online role playing. There are a number of forums devoted to pen and paper style role playing on the 'net. Good luck with that. My experience is that those games fall apart like a house of cards in a wind tunnel, but maybe you'll have better luck.
Your other option is to try to start your own game. Get a few of your friends together, pick up a core rulebook, some dice, and a pre-made adventure, and have a go at it. I know what you're thinking: "But Eric, you tremendous dolt, I've never even played an rpg before. I don't know the first thing about running a game." My first experience with role playing was as a game master. Granted, I've never gmed since, but I managed to intrigue several of my friends enough to con them into running campaigns, so it all worked out. I'll post some advice on picking a system and starting your own game on the next post. While you're waiting, check out this article on character building, sans physical and emotional trauma. See you in 48!

--Role playing is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's pretty awkward for at least a few days afterwards.