Relating to Your Fellow Gamers: Being a Good Opponent

I've made oblique references to professionalism and etiquette a few times on this blog, but I realize I've never really outlined what it is these things mean in gaming. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's what I plan to do here. This is a big topic, so I'll break this down into two chunks, games in which you compete against someone, like a TCG or war game, and games in which you work with a group, like an RPG. Most of the points are the same, but the application is very different.

Be polite. When you're interacting with another gamer, observe basic courtesy. Respect their personal space, and don't make any sort of rude comments. Don't make derogatory remarks about them or their tactics. If somebody uses something you don't like, deal with it. Don't let them get away with cheating, but don't complain about about a perfectly legal decision because you think it's unfair. Don't sigh dramatically or grumble if he makes a mistake or is taking longer than you think he should on his turn. Ask to touch his stuff, whether it's miniatures, cards, or blast templates.

Be efficient. Don't take too long on your turn. During your opponent's turn, be thinking about how you want to respond to his moves. This isn't just good strategic sense, it prevents him from having to wait while you stare contemplatively at the table. Along these same lines, show up ready to play. Don't sit and tweak an army list or deck while your opponent is waiting to play, and have your miniatures or cards ready to go out of the box.

Be friendly. Shake hands with your opponent before a game and wish him good. Do it again afterward and say good game, thank him for playing, congratulate him on his victory, or offer him a rematch if he lost. Smile and make conversation while you play. It doesn't have to be meaningful or intelligent, just so you're not sitting on the other side of the table silently glaring at him the entire game.

Don't be too friendly. Guys, I realize that women in gaming are as precious as diamonds and as rare as a Cadbury egg at Christmas, but keep it together. I don't care how pretty she is. I don't care how well she paints, or how great her deck is. Treat her like any other opponent. Look at her face. If she's wearing a v-neck top, ignore it. She may have to bend over to move miniatures or reach a card. Ignore it. She may have this really cute way of tucking her hair behind her ear and then smiling at you like you're the only person in the world. Ignore it. And unless she initiates something, for Gork's sake don't flirt with her. She's the enemy. The golden haired enemy, with alabaster skin and a radiant smile, with warm, full lips and curves like a country road and legs that go all the way up to her.....
So stay frosty. Keep it professional. She came to game, not to deal with leering game geeks. Ladies, it's generally considered bad play to use your feminine wiles to distract the men you play. Especially the really shy, nerdy ones. You know who I'm talking about.

Be gracious. Play to win, but also play so your opponent has fun. Don't celebrate his every reverse. Trash talking is completely inappropriate. Victory dances are right out. When you win, tell him it was a good game and offer him a rematch some time. If you can do it without being condescending, offer hims some advice. When you lose, smile and congratulate him. Thank him for a good game, and compliment him on some good move he made. Never blame the dice for a loss. When playing someone who you're just flat out better than, don't grind them into powder. When it becomes obvious that you're caning them, ask if they want some advice. Don't feel obligated to teach them every trick you know, but help them get to the next level. The better they get, the sooner you have a worthy opponent.

Some of these rules relax a little bit if you know you're opponent fairly well, but others are completely non-negotiable. The most important thing to remember: don't be a dick. Your opponent is there to have fun, not to provide you with entertainment. Look at my article on dice for information specifically on dice etiquette. Mav out.