Relating to Your Fellow Gamers: Being a Good Party Member

Roleplaying is a little different from playing a TCG or war game because you're working with the people at the table, rather than against them. As such the etiquette changes a little bit. More stuff stays the same than changes, though.

Be polite Accept the fact that other people are going to have different ideas about what is fun. You may not get to do everything exactly the way you want to, but compromise can mean that you at least get to do some of the things you like. Be patient when people have to stop and check rules. Yes, they should have looked it up beforehand. That doesn't make it okay for you to be rude to them.

Be efficient Do things as quickly as possible, so that the game moves on. Be ready to take your turn in combat, so other people don't have to wait to take theirs. Know your place in the initiative order, so you don't have to be reminded its your turn. Know the rules for your character. You don't want to have to keep going back to the book to find things every time you want to do something. Also, don't have your character go wandering off by himself for extended periods of time. It slows down the game and makes the others have to wait while you're off pursuing your own ends. "But that's what my character would do. He's a loner." There's an important point to remember when playing a character like that: don't. I don't care how cool you think your character is, everyone else thinks you're a tool for trying to hog the session. Roleplaying is a group activity, act accordingly.

Be helpful. A role playing party is a team. Each character needs to act in concert with the others to accomplish the parties goals. If you're constantly acting against the other party members, you need to stop and reconsider what your goals are. Along the same lines, don't just do whatever stupid, random thing you think of. "But that's what my character would do! She's doesn't want the party to succeed" or "He's impulsive." There's something very important you need to do when playing a character like that to make sure you don't become a detriment to the party. Get a new character. If you're too selfish or socially inept to understand why the above behaviors are unacceptable, then you might as well quit trying to roleplay now. Do us all a favor and lock yourself in a dark room with a video game console. Or just eat a bullet.

Be friendly. Make an effort to get along with everyone at the table. You don't have to be best friends, but you at least have to remain civil while you're playing.

Don't be too friendly. Roleplaying can be a great way to meet new people. Please don't be the guy that hits on all the women at the table, though. That guy's a dick, and nobody likes him. The women are there to roleplay, so put it on ice until after the game. Gaming with a significant other can be a great bonding experience. However, please keep the displays of affection to a minimum. They slow down the game and tend to annoy the more perpetually single members of the group. In game romances can be interesting, but check with everyone before hand to see what they're comfortable with. And make sure it doesn't take too much time away from the main plot. You don't want the uninvolved players sitting around waiting for you to finish hitting on Serving Wench #47.

Follow these rules, and you should get invited back to a game. Again, the mantra is: don't be a dick.

Relating to Your Fellow Gamers: Being a Good Opponent

I've made oblique references to professionalism and etiquette a few times on this blog, but I realize I've never really outlined what it is these things mean in gaming. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's what I plan to do here. This is a big topic, so I'll break this down into two chunks, games in which you compete against someone, like a TCG or war game, and games in which you work with a group, like an RPG. Most of the points are the same, but the application is very different.

Be polite. When you're interacting with another gamer, observe basic courtesy. Respect their personal space, and don't make any sort of rude comments. Don't make derogatory remarks about them or their tactics. If somebody uses something you don't like, deal with it. Don't let them get away with cheating, but don't complain about about a perfectly legal decision because you think it's unfair. Don't sigh dramatically or grumble if he makes a mistake or is taking longer than you think he should on his turn. Ask to touch his stuff, whether it's miniatures, cards, or blast templates.

Be efficient. Don't take too long on your turn. During your opponent's turn, be thinking about how you want to respond to his moves. This isn't just good strategic sense, it prevents him from having to wait while you stare contemplatively at the table. Along these same lines, show up ready to play. Don't sit and tweak an army list or deck while your opponent is waiting to play, and have your miniatures or cards ready to go out of the box.

Be friendly. Shake hands with your opponent before a game and wish him good. Do it again afterward and say good game, thank him for playing, congratulate him on his victory, or offer him a rematch if he lost. Smile and make conversation while you play. It doesn't have to be meaningful or intelligent, just so you're not sitting on the other side of the table silently glaring at him the entire game.

Don't be too friendly. Guys, I realize that women in gaming are as precious as diamonds and as rare as a Cadbury egg at Christmas, but keep it together. I don't care how pretty she is. I don't care how well she paints, or how great her deck is. Treat her like any other opponent. Look at her face. If she's wearing a v-neck top, ignore it. She may have to bend over to move miniatures or reach a card. Ignore it. She may have this really cute way of tucking her hair behind her ear and then smiling at you like you're the only person in the world. Ignore it. And unless she initiates something, for Gork's sake don't flirt with her. She's the enemy. The golden haired enemy, with alabaster skin and a radiant smile, with warm, full lips and curves like a country road and legs that go all the way up to her.....
So stay frosty. Keep it professional. She came to game, not to deal with leering game geeks. Ladies, it's generally considered bad play to use your feminine wiles to distract the men you play. Especially the really shy, nerdy ones. You know who I'm talking about.

Be gracious. Play to win, but also play so your opponent has fun. Don't celebrate his every reverse. Trash talking is completely inappropriate. Victory dances are right out. When you win, tell him it was a good game and offer him a rematch some time. If you can do it without being condescending, offer hims some advice. When you lose, smile and congratulate him. Thank him for a good game, and compliment him on some good move he made. Never blame the dice for a loss. When playing someone who you're just flat out better than, don't grind them into powder. When it becomes obvious that you're caning them, ask if they want some advice. Don't feel obligated to teach them every trick you know, but help them get to the next level. The better they get, the sooner you have a worthy opponent.

Some of these rules relax a little bit if you know you're opponent fairly well, but others are completely non-negotiable. The most important thing to remember: don't be a dick. Your opponent is there to have fun, not to provide you with entertainment. Look at my article on dice for information specifically on dice etiquette. Mav out.